As she approaches the one-year anniversary of her sobriety in March, Meghan marvels at how much her life has changed.
She’d been consistently using addictive substances, including heroin and fentanyl, for 18 years, and the drugs had severely damaged her health. She had bone infections in both legs, lost multiple teeth, and was unable to find stable shelter.
In those final few months before she began working to get into recovery, she called a friend and “I would cry my eyes out and say, I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore.”
“I’d given up. I’d accepted that my life was going to end in one of two ways: I was going to die, or I was going to jail,” says Meghan, now 36. “And I was okay with that, because I didn't think there was any way out.”
Meghan’s will to reclaim her life returned with the support of Prevention Point Philadelphia (PPP). With staff as her loudest and most constant cheerleaders—and the organization’s many services to back her up—Meghan began breaking her dependency on narcotics with the help of methadone.
It wasn’t a quick fix, and it definitely wasn’t easy, but today Meghan can report that she’s conquered withdrawal, treated the infections that almost resulted in amputation, and undergone extensive dental work. She’s living in North Carolina with family, attending daily support meetings, and starting to believe that she has a future.
“There is no going back,” she says. “I’m not willing to go out that way.”
Meghan began experimenting with pills as a teenager and quickly moved on to stronger substances. She remembers saying, “I will never shoot up, never do dope. That’s not my thing.” Soon, she found herself doing exactly that.
For years, Meghan had utilized PPP’s medical services and food and clothing distributions. When she decided to change her life, PPP doctors and staffers were her biggest supporters. Meghan's team emphasized that there were many pathways to recovery available, and they would work together to find the best one for her.
“It was always, I’m so proud of you,” Meghan says. “When you’re a drug addict, people treat you like human garbage…”
But PPP never did, she says. “They were always telling me, You can do this… and if I can do this, anybody can.”
One PPP staffer who stands out is Liba, Prevention Services Engagement Program Manager, who continues to show Meghan the many options she has as she moves forward.
“We still talk to this day periodically, and she’s always been super, super supportive,” Meghan says. “Everybody there has.”
Meghan is slowly regaining her health, but she’ll always carry scars on her legs from multiple infections. “I’ll never wear shorts again,” she says, but realizes her health and wellbeing are far more important.
Before, she says, “I had a blank stare, no light in my eyes. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. I’d walk right past.”
“Then, once I got into recovery, I felt like you could see the light back in me a little bit… I'm still not 100% when I look in the mirror, but I can at least look.”